God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference. - Reinhold Niebuhr
It's been a few years, and I've still gone through some rough spells, but by embracing this philosophy, I think - in general - I'm far better off emotionally and mentally. Mind you, at times it's taken an enormous amount of personal willpower and personal reminding to accept this as a life mantra (and at times, I still have to force myself to accept it), but it's been well worth the effort.
I bring this up because at my Wellington Toastmasters meeting last night, Tim Morrel gave a riveting speech about life in general, and he brought up what he believes are the three keys to a happy, successful life:
(1) Take care of yourself
(2) Forgive yourself
(3) Be eternally thankful
In illustrating his reasons, using personal memories from his family experiences, Tim truly brought these reasons to life. And while he was doing so, i must admit, I got lost in my own personal thought process, and began thinking of my own life ... and in doing so, I realized (rather quickly) that I may have been embracing the Serenity Prayer, but I was not giving equal time to Tim's three-prong commentary. To wit: I don't think I have been taking care of myself, I rarely forgive myself, and while I am thankful for many things, I'm not sure "eternally" applies, nor do I think "thankful" applies to enough (because I am not achieving the first two prompts.
(1) Take care of yourself: I'm overweight (and have been for longer than I care to remember). I don't get enough sleep. I spend WAY too much time focusing on work-related issues, and WAY too little time on self interests. In short, I am living vicariously through my job, my students, and my program, to the point where it is unhealthy. I keep saying I will "cut back" on the time factor, but so far, it's been nothing but empty promises to myself.
I've already taken some steps to actually put this into practice. Next school year, for the first time since 2004, I will only teach 5 classes, not 6; this will help reduce the work load in terms of grading papers, etc. etc. In addition, I have reduced the number of tournaments we are going to. Theoretically, this will open up my schedule for some so-called "personal" time to do things like ... Islands of Adventure! Jaxson's! Sleep! Breathe!
(2) Forgiving yourself: I dwell too much on the "little things," which would (I am sure) annoy Mary Wermuth to some degree; she of the mantra "Don't sweat the small stuff ... and it's all small stuff." I need to seriously loosen up and stop beating myself up over things that I have no control over (ah, the Serenity Prayer battle ...).
(3) Being eternally thankful: To be honest, until I am happy with myself, and forgive myself on a consistent basis, this may be difficult to achieve. I am thankful for the friends I have, for gainful employment, and for parents and family members that love and care for me. I suppose I am even "eternally" thankful for them, for my three nephews in Detroit, for having persevered through some rough times, and for - despite all the negativity that may be flowing through these words - being better off today than I was a few years ago. But ... I have a long way to go.
Now it is summer vacation - from the school job, at least. I plan to take some time this summer for myself, to relax a bit more than normal. Whether helping Alexandra Sencer move to O-town, doing the "Tour de Military Museums" with David Traill (hey, you never know), enjoying my godson's barmitzvah, or hitting Motown for a few baseball games and seeing family and friends, I intend to have a fun, relaxing and enjoyable respite from the rigors of everyday life I have, sadly, allowed myself to shape who I am. And, more importantly, to carry them into the next school year.
I suspect a few life changes may be in the works as well - nothing major, but enough so that I can start to enjoy life more and concentrate positively on rediscovering who I used to be.
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