Saturday, August 31, 2013

Who Kidnapped Bill O'Reilly, and What Have You Done With Him?

The Fine Five - August 31, 2013

(1) What was learned about my Central Michigan Chippewas football team today during its opening day 59-9 trouncing in Ann Arbor at the hands of the 17th-ranked Michigan Wolverines: nothing. What was confirmed about that same Central Michigan team: its defense is still nonexistent, its new quarterback needs to grow into the position, and it won't be challenging any time soon for a college football championship trophy. That had be a long bus ride back to Mt. Pleasant.

(2) Had an enjoyable lunch at The Cheesecake Factory in Palm Beach Gardens with three fellow debate officers, Dale McCall, Traci Lowe and Kristie Taylor. Nothing like discussing debate league issues with peers and friends over a good meal.

(3) Breaking news about the most gifted third-string quarterback ever to walk on water: Tim Tebow was released by the New England Patriots today.

(4) OK, you can go back to worrying about the impending US military presence in Syria. This link is really spiffy and provides a ton of fundamental information on the situation and what is happening (and why). And it even has a cool soundtrack!

(5) My birthday is in seven months. Do NOT buy me a $120 Kanye West white T-shirt, a $950 Gwyneth Paltrow shot glass, a $100 Snoop anything, or enroll me in The Donald's business school. This also applies to Chanukah or any other celebration which calls for offering gifts to individuals. (However, I'm all for the ESPN "30 for 30" movie The Two Escobars, Silver Reunion, or Elway to Marino.)

Scary News of the Day

From Jezebel: "'Gentleman' Seeks 'Worthy' Woman in Personal Ad With 28-Question FAQ" - I've written on-line personal ads before. And i've answered them before. And basically, I know I'm doing something wrong on both counts. (I mean, I'm still single, right?) But at least I didn't do what this guy did. At least, not consciously. I think he should have listened to Rupert Holmes for advice. Or the Village People. Or both.

Weird News of the Day

From The Anchorage Daily News: "Fox's O'Reilly: I made wrong claim about march" - First, Bill O'Reilly publicly admits he was wrong when he said no Republicans were invited to participate in the MLK ceremony. Then he said the invited GOP members were wrong for not attending. WHO KIDNAPPED BILL O'REILLY, AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH HIM?

Weird News of the Day #2 (because one is not enough today)

From The Pune Mirror: "Ask the Sexpert - Saturday, August, 31 2013" - Yo, I slept with my neighbor and her daughter while my wife was in another town having our baby. She's coming back in a few days. Your thoughts?

Stupid News of the Day

From The Washington Post: "The unintended consequences of laws addressing sex between teachers and students" So, you're telling me it's OK to have sex with my students? Really? REALLY? This is wrong on so many levels, my head is spinning.

Stupid News of the Day #2 (because one is apparently not enough for this category today, either!)

From The National Post: "Unemployed techie created fake evidence of terror plot to attack nuclear plant in attempt to get a job, judge says" Dude, just file for unemployment and fix up your resume next time. It works, trust me!

Florida News of the Day

From CNN: "Florida to exhume bodies buried at former boys school" - I may be one BAMF teacher, but I have my limits, and I've got an alibi.

Video of the Day

Fire Up Chips! Yeah we kind of lost today ... and it would have been nice to, you know, cover the 31-point spread. Sigh. But we still have the 24-21 Little Caesar's Bowl victory over Western Kentucky last December to celebrate!

Friday, August 30, 2013

The Star Wars Marzano Reading Scale

The Fine Five - August 30, 2013

(1) The Wellington Directional Signpost was put together a few days ahead of schedule, thanks to the miracle of quick-drying paint. The silver spray paint was a no-brainer; one side of the 15 signs were painted yesterday, the other side this morning, and they were easily dry by the time the varsity debate class entered the classroom at 2 p.m. Then it was time to grab the small paintbrushes and can of blue paint and add words and mileage information to said signs. In all, 14 destinations were noted, including Philadelphia, Chicago, Fairfax VA, Gainesville, The Bronx, Kansas City, Boston, Orlando, Birmingham, and Duffy's (which isn't a tournament location, but what the heck ... I'm there way too often, and we do monthly fundraiser benefit nights at the Royal Palm Beach location!). The 15th sign was for proclaiming "Welly World" to the masses.

(2) I did learn that double-sided sticky tape does not tend to stick very well to spray-painted plastic signs, so I had to do some creative thinking and staple the sticky tape to the signs, then add a second layer of sticky tape to secure the signs to the metal pole. If only it had been a wooden pole; then I could have secured the signs using a staple gun. THAT would have been fun!

(3) I also learned that spray paint doesn't always stick to cabinet tops. (This is a good thing.) Apparently, some got under the newspapers that were supposed to keep the counters silver-free, but that didn't work as effectively as I'd hoped. But the paint actually wiped up with use of Windex today ... but I did warn the students not to sit on the counter, as they could end up with silver paint on their pants. I'm sure that would not have been a good thing.

(4) Today's English class was an opportunity to wrap up our unit on Native American mythology with a 50-minute presentation of "NMAI: Identity by Design," an online presentation of Native American dresses at the National Museum of the American Indian (part of the Smithsonian). I had the opportunity to visit the museum in 2008 when visiting my friend Tamara Rosov in Washington, D.C., as part of my 20-day, 4,000-mile road trip through the midwest and along the east coast. It was simply amazing, and I am so thrilled the exhibit is now on-line as well. The students were mesmerized by the various dresses, and asked both myself and my co-teacher Tawny Anderson tons of excellent questions about Native American lifestyle, the culture, and how they lived. It was a great way to wrap up the week. (Having a five-minute walkthrough by administration during one of the presentations was an added bonus.)

(5) Next up: working on my "Star Wars Marzano Reading Scale" ... because if I'm gonna have to do this Marzano shit, i may as well have some fun with it!

Scary News of the Day

From The Denver Channel: "'Affidavit: 18-year-old Aurora woman, Isabella Guzman, stabbed mother 79 times in face and neck" - "Isabella is a good kid, she's a good hearted," father Robert Guzman said. "I don't know what could've happened, honestly, to provoke this kind of reaction."

Weird News of the Day

From The Huffington Post: "Ania Lisewska, Polish Woman, Wants To Have Sex With 100,000 Men" - 284 down, 99,716 to go ... I think ...

Stupid News of the Day

From CBC: "Paralyzed snowboarder gets go ahead to sue" STEP 1: Sign a waiver. STEP 2: Lie about your age. STEP 3: Consume an energy drink. STEP 4: Take a snowboard for a trial run. STEP 5: Attempt a stunt. STEP 6: Break your neck. STEP 7: Sue the board manufacturer and the ski hill. STEP 8: Get the go-ahead to continue with the lawsuit.

Florida News of the Day

From WPTV: "Brent Roberts escalator stunt Mall at Wellington Green: YouTube inspired stunt leads to arrest" - And to think, usually it's helicopter PARENTS who are the real assholes in life ...

Video of the Day

Live from the R&RHOF in Cleveland, it's ... A FRIGGING AMAZING ENSEMBLE!

Thursday, August 29, 2013

Pole Dancing

The Fine Five - August 29, 2013

(1) Special thanks to Bobbie Brubaker, Wellington High School art teacher extraordinare, for allowing me to use her Exacto knife and other implements of destruction to create around 16 large plastic arrows, which will be used to create a debate-themed directional pole in the classroom. (There's a pole in the center of the room used for ethernet hookups, and it's just ... sitting [OK, standing] there, looking lonely and forlorn. We creative types can't just let that sit there unattended!)

(2) I started painting the arrows after school today (whoever left the two cans of silver spray paint, thank you!) and will continue tomorrow morning. The debate students will then add their flare to the signs by painting locations of tournaments we will be attending this year (or other major debate tourney locales from past years) - New Haven, Gainesville, Orlando, Fairfax, Philly, Decatur, etc. - as well as the distance to said tournaments. They will be blue-on-silver variations of the old M*A*S*H signs from the late-1960s movie and long-running TV show of the same name. (I am trusting the students to do the actual sign writing ... which is a very scary thought, to be honest!)

(3) To help prepare my debate students for not only upcoming current events that may (and in some cases will) be on the Congressional Debate docket, they have more research due tomorrow, on the following eight umbrella areas: (1) Immigration Reform; (2) Health Care Reform [focusing on the Affordable Care Act/Obamacare]; (3) Education Reform; (4) Space Exploration; (5) The Middle East [Afghanistan, Pakistan, India – I know India isn’t really in the ME, but it has a history with Pakistan]; (6) The Middle East [Iran, Iraq, Egypt, Israel, Palestine]; (7) The Middle East [Syria, Jordan, Turkey]; and (8) The Pacific Rim [Japan, China, North Korea]. Here's to teaching good research skills!

(4) College football officially kicked off (get it? "kicked off"?) tonight, but my season doesn't start until Saturday, when my Central Michigan Chippews travel in-state to Ann Arbor to take on the Michigan Wolverines. Yeah, a MAC-Big Ten matchup. Right now it's a 31-point spread in favor of the Wolverines. This does not bode well. Sigh ... it's going to be a long season ...

(5) If you've not read the amazing piece in Rolling Stone on New England Patriots tight end Aaron Hernandez and the plethora of demons and warning signs that were emanating from his very soul and being prior to his arrest on murder charges, do so - even if you're not a sports fan. There are so many questions of ethics and responsibility on multiple levels here. The article is at times scathing toward Patriots coach Bill Belichick, and owner Bob Kraft, the latter of whom contributing editor Paul Solotaroff essentially labels as "guilty by omission" in dealing with the numerous red flags that were raised. This is probably because in early July, Kraft claimed he felt "duped" by Hernandez ... which seems laughable at best now, given the evidence he and other Patriots brass were well aware of the ticking time bomb that was their player.

Scary News of the Day

From BBC: "'Million-dollar dating scam mum and daughter jailed" - You'd hit them ... with a baseball bat. Or two.

Weird News of the Day

From The DesMoines Register: "'Why are so many cars with Iowa plates parked in Brooklyn, N.Y.?" - Ummmmm ... to escape Iowa, perhaps?

Stupid News of the Day

From Opposing Views: "Fox News Uses MLK Celebration To Attack Rap Music, Jay-Z" - Because apparently those anti-Vietnam War protest songs in the 1960s were never a problem with the right-wing establishment. You know, those lyrical attacks on violence by Woodstockesque musicians like CSNY, Jefferson Airplane, Bob Dylan, Creedence Clearwater Revival, Country Joe & The Fish, Woody Guthrie, Buffalo Springfield, Barry McGuire ...

Florida News of the Day

From The Christian Science Monitor: "Third Florida mayor arrested within past month on corruption charges" - Three down, so many more to go ....

Video of the Day

Hello. My name is Phil Campbell, and I approve this message.

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Being-Hit-On-The-Head Lessons

The Fine Five - August 28, 2013

(1) Today's lecture in the debate class was on the Federal Assault Weapons Ban ... which is only fitting, since it's our legislation for next month's first debate tournament of the year. A number of students were absent, due to it being the first blood drive of the year at Wellington, and they were volunteering their time (and internal fluids) for a greater cause. So I emailed my lecture notes home to all students and parents because I wanted them to have the information I presented.

Because Wellington is supporting a reinstitution of the 1994 FAWB (with a few modifications), my lecture notes were somewhat heavy on the affirmative side. One parent apparently misconstrued this as "Gaba's personal viewpoint":

I see what your opinion is on this issue. Are all students going to write an affirmative or will some be allowed to argue the other side?

Here was my response (with names of the parent and student changed, because in the grand scheme, it was a minor misunderstanding, and the real reason I am posting this is to show my - and many other coach's - position on teaching debate):

What was presented wasn't about my opinion, and to be honest my opinion is irrelevant on any current event topic we cover. I am not, and never have, pushed a personal political agenda in 15 years of coaching and teaching debate.

Wellington's legislation is to reinstitute the FAWB.

Students will be writing "affirmative" arguments on the topic for a grade; they need to be able to present the sponsorship speech at the Sept. 28 debate tournament. However, to ensure we can have viable debate on the topic, they will be afforded the opportunity to write a speech on the negative for extra credit.

The primary reason all Wellington debaters need to be ready on the affirmative side on any legislation we as a program present - whether dealing with immigration reform, creation of a flat tax, funding NASA, whatever - is because it is our sponsorship. Further, let's say your child and three other Wellington students are in the same congress chamber (I'll call them John, George and Ringo), and they as a collective decide that Ringo is going to give the Wellington authorship. And the day of the tournament comes, and Ringo's fighting off a bad stomach bug, and can't make the tournament. Someone (your child, John or George) needs to then give the sponsor speech. They all need to be prepared to do so.

On any other school's topic, when it comes to writing and presenting speeches, each student can choose whatever side they wish on which to speak. Heck, it's possible at another tournament in the future, another school presents a bill dealing with gun control. your child can speak on whichever side he is most comfortable with. No issues here.

Debate isn't about pushing one's own personal views; students need to be able to present the most convincing argument possible on any number of current event issues, regardless of their personal feelings or opinions. Congress is about presenting facts and stats as informatively as possible. They also need to know all possible sides of a topic. If a student goes into a debate with information on only one side of an issue, they are unprepared; they must be able to defend their position with facts and logic against the opposition, and be able to attack the opposition with facts and logic. Thus, they need to know all possible arguments that could come up in a debate on any given topic. The debate program is designed to teach students these skills, through research, organization, critical thinking, and oral persuasion.

I hope this makes sense, and that your child is enjoying the course so far. I look forward to meeting you at our parent/student meeting next month!

My response was dead-on, and the parent was impressed:

Sorry for the misunderstanding. I was simply looking for clarification as to whether or not both sides of issues will have to be argued. I actually feel arguing opposite your own personal opinion is very good stuff. I think I understand that as a school team we are assigned either a pro or con position and argue with other schools? Therefore the debates are not taking place in the classroom between kids in the same class at Wellington HS. Perhaps you could help me understand these programs and the debating format at the student/parent meeting. Thank you for your response.

I love my job!

(2) No word on how successful said blood drive was yet, but we will be told very soon. I hope it was an amazing day. Wellington still has four more blood drives on campus this year. In the past, they've taken place in what is now my classroom, but apparently when I set up the room last month (and part of this month), I did so in such a way that it is not conducive to the blood drive any more. So it's right down the hallway from where I teach.

(3) Sidebar: during the first 30 minutes of school, three students asked me (which I was on watch in the hallway), "Where is the blood drive taking place?" (I'm pretty sure the large red arrow pointed the way accurately ...)

Sometimes, I am truly amazed at the inability of individuals to be able to ... I don't know ... READ SIGNS that are right there in front of them. In the hallway, about 15 feet from where the photo was taken, was another sign directing individuals in the right direction. Down the hallway the arrow was pointing to was yet ANOTHER sign. The door leading into the blood drive room had a sign on it. SMH ...

(4) Speaking of weapons (going back to the initial commentary), when the class was discussing gun control in general yesterday (we hadn't gotten into the actual FAWB yet), one of the questions came up about teachers with weapons (stemming from the political post-Sandy Hook tragedy in December). I did my best dance around the topic, pointing out (1) I'm not really sure many parents would be thrilled knowing the entire education profession was armed and loaded, (2) I'm not really sure students wanted me to have the ability to draw a weapon when a fight on campus broke out (and there happened to have been a fight on campus the day before), (3) had I been near the fight and someone, while I was attempting to break up the disturbance, managed to take my gun from the holster, then what?, and (4) I have horrid vision and minimal training with a weapon; AM I REALLY THE ONE YOU WANT WITH A GUN ON CAMPUS? They laughed; so did I.

(5) Today I filled up the Prius, for only the second time in the past month. (The Prius received a full tank on July 26, and then on August 14.) Ten gallons. 46 MPG.

Weird News of the Day

From The Wichita Eagle: "'Nebraskan sues Wal-Mart over plastic bag's failure" - Forget the lousy salaries and employee relations, Wal-Mart is so fucking cheap, it apparently won't even buy quality grocery bags these days.

Stupid News of the Day

From Gawker: "Cellphone Robber Caught After Tripping Over Own Sagging Pants" - The 21-year-old was tackled and arrested on charges of robbery, ass-ault, and "looking like a fool."

Florida News of the Day

From NBC Miami: "Man Arrested For Drugs in Front of Elementary School, Says He Is Having Sexual Relationship With Adult Step-Daughter: Deputies" - I tried to come up with a really witty response, but with a headline like that, there was no chance in hell I could accomplish anything of the sort.

Video of the Day

In honor of the wacky world of high school debate, I present Monty Python's Flying Circus. At least it wasn't abuse ...

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Trump Gets Trumped

The Fine Five - August 27, 2013

(1) English 3 students started working on their Origin Myth assignments today,. A few had problems devising ideas (despite my attempts to help them with concepts like "How suspenders came to be," "How Snickers bars were created," and "Why Mountain Dew rocks!" A few others had much better progress and success, despite those same suggestions ...

(2) Intense discussion in Debate 1 on whether there should be stricter gun control in the United States. Lots of excellent arguments on both sides of the discussion brought up by the students. Tomorrow we go into more depth on gun control and the Federal Assault Weapons Ban of 1994.

(3) Was invited by Lantana Middle School to speak to their faculty on Thursday, October 10, on the benefits of debate in relation to CCSS, confidence, critical thinking, argumentative writing, etc., as well as the best practices to implement it within the classroom across the curriculum. It should be an amazing day It should be an amazing opportunity to promote debate at the middle school level.

(4) The trivia night questions at Duffy's tonight are lame. REALLY lame. "Which one of the Great Lakes is named after a state?" "Which American rock star's nickname is 'The Boss'?" "How many US senators does Florida have?" "What Beatles album cover shows Paul walking barefoot?" Really? This is the best you can come up with? I mean, I know it's the early questions, and they get harder (sometimes) as you move along, but still ...

(5) I AM BEYOND DISGUSTED WITH THE ASSHOLE JUDGE WHO HANDED OUT A 30-DAY SENTENCE TO A TEACHER WHO RAPED A 14-YEAR-OLD STUDENT. YES, THE ARTICLE IS LINKED IN THIS RANT!

Weird News of the Day

From The Orlando Sentinel: "'Orlando police looking for gunman after robbery" - The dude robbed a Dollar Tree. A DOLLAR TREE. SMH ...

Stupid News of the Day

From UPROXX: "Donald Trump Engaged A ‘Modern Family’ Writer In A Twitter Feud And Got Absolutely Served" - If you're gonna get into a Twitter war, you'd better come armed with a really good vocabulary and a lot less hypocrisy ...

Florida News of the Day

From Tech Dirt: "Dumb Criminals College Edition: Frat Sells Drugs, Posts Pics Of Girls On Facebook" - "FIU" now means Florida's Inane Undergrads; "Pi Kappa Alpha" now stands for "Enjoy Prison, You Pathetic Morons."

Video of the Day

Roar!