(1) Working on the Palm Beach debate coaches' initiative plan for area growth, to be submitted to the National Forensic League soon. Basically, it entails analyzing our current debate program makeup in Palm Beach and Martin counties and proposing ideas to spur growth in terms of bringing more schools into the debate world and increasing the number of competitors at tournaments. Our Orlando counterparts are meeting this weekend; we (Palm Beach) will be meeting over Labor Day weekend (gotta love coach pow-wow lunches at The Cheesecake Factory!) to dissect and flesh out the modest proposal I'm currently crafting. (Why do I get the lions' share of the work? Because I'm the only Palm Beach area coach currently sitting on our committee. Hey, you want to be an officer ... sometimes there's work involved!)
(2) Having said that, I've had the chance to review both the Broward and Orlando area initiative plans that have been approved the past few years, as well as spoken to several other coaches, to put together some potentially radical ideas on making this growth occur. Becoming a coach at five schools simultaneously is strangely absent from the proposal.
(3) Today's in-class debate fun: teaching the novice class the basics of Congressional Debate cross-examination and correct body language. You know - triangle good, pacing bad ("You're not Jesse Jackson!"), swaying really bad ("Where's my Dramamine? I'm getting seasick!"), pee-pee dance not a chance in hell. Also caught one student trying to video me with her iPhone while I was performing the pee-pee dance for them (it's really a song-and-dance routine ... and if it ends up on YouTube, I get to write a zillion referrals ...).
(4) But the class was a lot of fun. It's already a great year - only three novices have dropped during the first week (out of 42), which while I don't have official stats, may be the lowest number scared off by my first-week antics ever.
(5) What the fuck happened to the New England Patriots last night in Detroit? A 40-9 Lions victory? Tom Brady looking more like Tim Tebow than Tebow? (And Tebow didn't even play!) QUOTE OF THE NIGHT: Asked why he only played two quarterbacks (Brady and Ryan Mallett), Patriots coach Bill Belichick responded with: "Because I only played two quarterbacks."
From WPTV: "'Celine Dion: Singer's Jupiter Island, Florida, home for sale for $72 million" - Damn, didn't see that one coming! The buyer gets get 415 feet of oceanfront, a 10,000-square-foot main house, a guest house and their own water park. Swimsuit not included. BONUS: Celine Dion is expelled back to Canada. Your call, Madonna!
The Fine Five - August 22, 2013
(1) The fantasy football draft for the Yahoo league "Owen 16" took place tonight, and here's what the Fighting Chippewas roster looks like for 2013:
QB: Matthew Stafford (Detroit), Michael Vick (Philadelphia)
RB: Danny Woodhead (San Diego), Giovani Bernard (Cincinnati), Andre Brown (NY Giants), Mark Ingram (New Orleans), Pierre Thomas (New Orleans)
WR: Calvin "Megatron" Johnson (Detroit), Antonio Brown (Pittsburgh), Anquan Bolden (San Francisco)
TE: Antonio Gates (San Diego), Brandon Pettigrew (Detroit)
K: Lawrence Tynes (Tampa Bay)
D: San Francisco, Tampa Bay
A fine looking team if I ever saw one. We will hopefully achieve our goals: Win the Dan Orlovsky Division, then the whole damn thing!
(2) Started reading and analyzing Native American mythology in my English classes today - The Earth on Turtle's Back is always a great introduction to North American literature, even if some of the students took the story a bit too seriously (since they're used to having a bit of science in their formal educational background). Tomorrow we tackle When Grizzlies Walked Upright.
(3) Just wait until we take in Coyote v. Acme next semester ... their heads will fucking explode ...
(4) Novice Debate is kicking butt and taking names so far. Still not sure how many freshmen I will lose due to schedule changes, but they're asking amazing questions and seem to be "getting" Congressional Debate. And we haven't even started watching past congress rounds and analyzing them yet!
(5) Assignment information for both the novice and honors debate classes was emailed to debaters and their parents tonight. No excuses for not knowing what is due next Monday ... Weird News of the Day
From The Morning Call: "'ALS sufferer wins IronPigs funeral giveaway" - You have won ... dinner with God! Stupid News of the Day
From The Bismarck Tribune: "Mayor: 'Everybody's wound up' over plans for white supremacist takeover of N.D. town" - North Dakota Nazis ... I hate North Dakota Nazis ... Florida News of the Day
From The Palm Beach Post: "'Fla. Gov. calls for review of school standards" - Remember, you can't spell Florida without an "F" ... Video of the Day
Bingo, Bango, Bongo and Irving ...
The Fine Five - August 21, 2013
(1) The attrition begins ... guidance counselors started going to English classrooms at Wellington to work with students needing schedule changes. So far, I've lost three of the 42 first-year debaters in my 4th period Debate 1 class. I'm sure the numbers will go down a bit ore over the next few days.
(2) Louisianans are fucking stupid. Seriously - fucking stupid as all hell. When asked by Public Policy Polling, "Who do you think was more responsible for the poor response to Hurricane Katrina: George W. Bush or Barack Obama?," 28 percent blamed Bush, a very close 29 percent blamed Obama, and a whopping 44 percent said they were "not sure." (Apparently, they were "not sure" who was in charge of FEMA at the time, since GWB was president, and Obama ... was not.
(3) Notice the poll also shows those interviewed have no fucking clue who they want as the GOP presidential candidate in 2016 either. One more reason the GOP will have an uphill battle reclaiming the White House. (This doesn't mean whoever I'm of the mindset HRC will make a good president, only that a divided GOP will find it extremely difficult to knock off a unified opposition party. And the Democrats will be united behind the former first lady.)(4) Yeah, I called it already - HRC will be the Democratic Party nominee. And the first female POTUS.
(5) A former debate student from Palm Beach County was arrested last week on battery charges. The booking photo was sent to me by a fellow coach, who received it from a debate parent. Thankfully, she wasn't one of my former debaters. Given her history in high school debate, though (and even her early college debate history), it wasn't a total shock, to be honest. The spoiled, wild child was rarely, if ever, held accountable for her actions. I'm not fazed by the situation; I do, however, find her predicament humorous. Weird News of the Day
From The Atlantic: "'Ask a Birther: Are You Convinced by Ted Cruz's Birth Certificate?" - Orly Taitz, rational thinker ... well, in this story, she is ... Stupid News of the Day
From The Raw Story: "Cruz heckled during ‘Defund Obamacare’ event: ‘You have health care, so can we!’" - "Part of the First Amendment is about respecting the views of others," Cruz said; then, officers removed protesters, and crowd chanted, "USA! USA! USA!" Florida News of the Day
From WPTV: "'Hundreds gather at St. Lucie Lock, Florida Governor Scott snubs crowd during tour" - Florida GOP Gov. Voldemort blows off residents of heavily Republican voting area. Always a good way to drum up support from your constituents ... Video of the Day
Back in the day, I was a wedding DJ. I had plenty of strange and potentially socially unacceptable song requests ... but usually they were by the guests, not the bride. For her aisle walk.
I like to follow the news in places where I used to live. Given I've moved all over the place since graduating from Central Michigan University in 1988, it means I have to keep tabs on multiple communities - suburban Battle Creek and southwest Michigan; West Branch and northeast Michigan; numerous places in metro Detroit; Martin County, Florida; and, of course, a few residential changes in the West Palm Beach region.
I "get" the whole First Amendment rights thing, I really do; yes, Erickson's colleagues have the constitutional right to voice their opinion and support him. And I "get" that, despite the community anger, the school board has chosen not to release the teachers from whatever contract under which they are employed.
But I also, equally, "get" that the educators in question used extremely questionable judgment, not only in writing the letters (which are public documents), but in being present at the sentencing. There are definitely situations where supporting colleagues in the education field is appropriate; I'm not so sure this was one of them. I am a professional educator, and I would be hard pressed to stand in union with a coworker or a colleague who was involved in such a horrid betrayal of children's trust. Erickson's actions are a blemish on the profession; appearing to publically support anyone who has admitted to, and been convicted of, those offenses is also a betrayal of children, their parents, and the necessary integrity of teachers. No, it is not in the same universe as child molestation itself ... but publically supporting a confessed and convicted child molester does incredible damage in many ways - to the community at large and the microcosmic community that is a school setting.
Years ago - early in my career as a teacher in Florida - I had a senior in my honors British Literature course who asked me for a letter of recommendation. I agreed to write it for him. But before I got around to actually doing the deed, said student turned in not one, but two, plagiarized essay assignments. Along with the "zero" grades for the papers, I had to tell him the letter of recommendation was not something I could go through with anymore, because the opening sentence would include references to his cheating in my class.
I believe the same holds true here; if Erickson's fellow educators were openly supporting him before any known transgression had taken place, it would be fully understandable. But to do so after he has been convicted, and openly ask the judge for a reduced sentence ... sorry, I can't go that far. I fail to understand why someone would continue to support such an individual - especially one who breaches professional ethics - in such a manner. Teachers - along with clergy and other child care workers - are entrusted with our most precious possessions, and for one of them to harm such a person is to destroy that family.
That Rose City school setting is going to be a hellish place in the foreseeable future. I'm a teacher; kids talk - a lot - about their friends, families, and teachers, and many of the things they say can be hurtful. They don't hold back, whether it be through chatting live with friends or posting comments on Facebook or Twitter about their daily lives. Many of those who end up in the supportive educators' classes will have a serious distrust of their teacher, as will their parents. There could even be a divide between educators, which would add to the stress already destined within the building.
I don't know if the school board should have fired the teachers. But I do suspect their professional lives will not be as pleasant as they had been in previous school years.
There are stories that make me ashamed to be a teacher. This is one of them.
The Fine Five - August 20, 2013
(1) Meanwhile, in Decatur, Georgia, a teen gunman fired off rounds at an elementary school before being apprehended today. Luckily, unlike Sandy Hook, there were apparently no injuries or deaths. But the whole "gun rights" question will be opened up again, just as it was in December ... and after every mass shooting that takes place.
(2) RIP, Elmore Leonard. Perhaps the best-known writer out of Detroit passed away from complications of a stroke today at the age of 87. Several of of Leonard's books have been made into movies, including "Get Shorty," "Jackie Brown," "Out of Sight" and "Hombre." You were always a fun read, and you will definitely be missed.
(3) How is it that in TV commercials, men using shaving cream always lather up their face with what seems like a solid six inches of foam? I never get that much lather. (Then again, females with amazingly long, Wolverine-esque fingernails doing extremely lame ninja-eqsue fighting moves never happen to me, either ...)
(4) Two days of school, three administrative pop-ins, each by different administrators, each in different classes. Guess I should expect two more visits in my two other classes soon?
(5) Performed my Gil Scott-Heron poetry program for the novice debate class today. Yeah, it's good to be back in the swing of things.
Since I'm back to teaching English this year, thought I'd offer a few suggestions on what students should do to improve their essay and research paper writing skills. Lord knows, they need all the help they can get ...
1. Don't use the following words or phrases:
"usage" - just write "use"
"utilize" - just write "use"
"goes on to"
"since the beginning of time"
"basically
"a lot"
"in my opinion"
"I could be wrong"
"could of" - when you really mean "could have"
"loose" - when you really mean "lose"
2. Use "third person" when writing an essay. "First person" is fine when writing journals, but in a formal work, stick to the "outside" point of view.3. Avoid awkward "passive" constructions, i.e. sentences that have no obvious subject. For example, don't write "It is seen in this passage ..."
4. Don't say "In conclusion." It wastes space, is a time suck, adds nothing to your position, and irritates the instructor to no end. I don't care if you've just cured cancer, the Middle East crisis, or Major League Baseball's eternal squabbling, if I see this phrase, it guarantees a grade no better than a "C" for the assignment.
5. Use MLA guidelines. Put punctuation marks inside quotation marks, "for example," I just correctly put that last comma inside the quotation marks. I'm also correctly putting this final period inside quotation "marks." That example would not be true, however, if you cite something; in that case the period goes after the citation, "not inside the quotation marks" (Gaba 152). Suggestion: Buy a copy of the most recent edition of the MLA Handbook for Writers of Research Papers ... or access the Purdue Online Writing Lab (OWL) MLA Formatting and Style Guide.
6. Never make a claim about a text unless you can back it up using some specific line from the text itself.
7. E-mail or talk to your instructor when you are having any difficulties. It can be very helpful, and can make a significant difference in the final grade of your paper.
8. Look in the library (school or county, whatever) and do a "subject" search under your author's name, to find many sources you can use in your paper. You might not find an essay about the exact text you're writing about, but you will likely find something that is at least somewhat relevant to your topic.
9. Instructors don't care whether you think a text or author is good or bad. What does interest us is why you think an author or text is good or bad.
10. Every sentence in your essay should have a reason for being there. Look at each sentence and think, "What am I trying to tell my reader with this sentence?"
11. After you are done writing, print out a copy of your paper and read it, out loud, to yourself. Have mom or dad read it over. (Why "mom or dad" instead of your best friend or significant other? They're a bit older, and may have suggestions for improvement that vary from those that your friends might have. Variety is the spice of life. Besides, it might make them feel important.) You (or they) may find typographical errors or awkward sentences. Fix them.
12. Do not explain, in your paper that "there are many possible interpretations of the work I have chosen." That is true of every work of literature in the world. Not only is it obvious, then, but saying it will only weaken your argument. The only reason you're saying it in the first place is because you are afraid the instructor will tell you you're wrong, so you're trying to hedge your bets. Don't be such a wuss. Make a claim and stick to it.
13. Do not say "I think that ..." before expressing your opinions in your paper. Just go ahead and say that something IS true, not that you THINK it's true. Not only does it weaken your argument to say that you "think" something is true, but obviously you think it's true, or you wouldn't be putting it in the paper in the first place. Duh!
14. Make sure your concluding paragraph discusses the same issues that you raised in your introductory paragraph.
15. Avoid vague generalizations and all-inclusive statements. "Everyone knows what it's like to see the sunset." "Roaches are everywhere." The problem with these generalizations is that they are almost always wrong (Blind people don't know about sunsets. There are no roaches on the moon.) Aside from being wrong, these statements also don't contribute to your argument. Don't waste time telling your readers something they already know.
16. Titles of books, plays/musicals and movies are italicized or underlined. Titles of shorter works, such as short stories, songs, or poems, are put in quotation marks. For example, you can read the novel Moby Dick, watch the musical The Producers or see the movie Titanic, or you can read Shakespeare's "Sonnet 30," and listen to the song "Oops, I Did It Again." If you are dealing with a selection-within-a-selection - such as "The Wife of Bath's Tale" from Chaucer's Canterbury Tales ... well, I think I just answered that one, too.
17. Do not mistake a list for an essay.
18. Don't try to be funny. It is a risk to write a humorous essay. What might be funny to a high school or college student may not be so funny to someone who is older.
19. Avoide cliches and trite sentences.
"I just want to leave the world a better place."
"Through sports, I have learned the value of hard work."
"Because of the death of my grandmother from cancer, I want to become a doctor." (If, for this reason, the student truly wants to go to college and become a doctor, the essay must show what he/she is already doing to make this happen, i.e. high school classes like physics, hospital volunteering, etc.)
20. Do not manufacture hardship. Contrary to popular belief, it is not a prerequisite for a good essay.
"My parents divorced when I was 10." (The instructor's response: "Get over it.")
Middle- and upper-class communities do not conjure up hardship in many people's minds. Upper middle class students, and students from affluent areas, have had opportunities and benefits denied to students from less affluent areas. That is not good or bad in and of itself. The real question is, what have they done with these advantages?
21. Do not be cute with fonts and other computer word processing capabilities. Use 10- to 12-point Times New Roman font. Italics are not necessary for emphasis, nor are changes in the size of font, or using bold and/or underlined words. It is only annoying.22. Floss your teeth. 75 percent of adult Americans have gum disease. Without flossing, you will very likely become one of them. Besides, it will make your breath smell better, which means you'll become a chick/hottie magnet.
23. Don't talk or text on your cell phone while you're driving your car. Not only could you die while you're doing this (some might argue that both you and your cell phone would deserve it), but you might very likely hit a squirrel, or kill me, or hit some innocent group of Girl Scouts, or even a tainted group of Girl Scouts. Whatever. Only one good thing could ever come out of you driving with a cell phone to your ear or whilst texting - you might hit someone else who is driving while talking or texting on their own cell phone.
24. And hey, as long as you're driving around, use your turn signals and wear your safety belt.
25. Still in the car? You should drive less frequently. There is no easier way to die in America than to be in your car. More than 48,000 people per year die due to car accidents, fewer than the number of Americans who died in the entire Vietnam War. But only slightly fewer.
26. When you're picking someone up early in the morning, get out of the car and go to the door. Don't just honk your horn. People are sleeping. And stop blaring J-Lo or 50 Cent so that the vibes from your car stereo can be felt in Milwaukee. The Fine Five - August 19, 2013
(1) Forty-one students showed up in the novice level Debate 1 class today. Let me repeat that: FOURTY-ONE FREAKING FIRST-YEAR DEBATERS! Which in layman's terms is FREAKING INSANE!
(2) I'm not overly concerned, even though a few more might be added in the next few days, because there's always an attrition that takes place due to other courses opening up and students who don't really want to be in debate when all is said and done. It will likely be around 34-35 students when all is said and done.
(3) Overall it was a pretty good first day back on the job. No major issues, and most of the students even seemed to listen. There was this sense of stunned "WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU SAY?" when I informed them there is a test on their summer reading next Monday; one entire English class hadn't even bothered to read The Hunger Games. Which was the assigned summer reading. Back in late May. Hope Barnes & Noble has enough copies ...
(4) Next time, I'm choosing the salmon or tuna over the mahi mahi at Duffy's. Not that anything was wrong with the mahi mahi; it's just a personal preference for tuna or salmon. Blackened, of course.
(5) Set the keepers for the Owen 16 Yahoo fantasy baseball league. Draft is Thursday. Hope I do better than last place ... Weird News of the Day
From WCMH: "'Powell Girl's Doll Returned With Throat Cut, Threatening Note" - Bride of Chuckie? Stupid News of the Day
From St. Louis Post-Dispatch: "Stranger looking to steal car keys stabs homeowner in Jefferson County" There are much better ways to try and regain custody of your precious snowflakes. Florida News of the Day
From The Ocala Star Banner: "'Police: Man makes mistake of pulling knife on Fla.'s top cop" - You gotta know when to hold 'em, when to fold 'em, and when to bring the right weapon to a gun fight. Video of the Day
Ryan Dempster's epic fail in his rage against Alex Rodriguez last night. (Four pitches to hit him? Really?)
