Brother Blutto Would Be Proud!

One of the many joys I experience on a daily basis is exploring the weird, the strange, the bizarre, that abnormal ... in the world of news. To do this, I rely on many different Internet news and blog sites. But my favorite source of amusement is Fark.com.

If you've never heard of Fark, I suggest you click the link above. You'll happen upon this submitter-created "tagline":

Competing with New York in the "Most Childish State Government" contest, California budget debate devolves into food fight.

Some background is necessary regarding New York, I suppose. According to the New York Daily News, one month after what is dubbed as a "Republican coup" of the New York state senate, the GOP and Democrats are at a stalemate in terms of creating a workable environment for 2009-10. Both parties currently have 31 senators.

Awkward, to say the least.

The stalemate in Albany has stalled many state issues, including - until today - Gov. David Paterson naming a lieutenant governor; the office has been vacant since disgraced Gov. Eliot Spitzer resigned last year and Paterson succeeded him; the state constitution does not provide for filling the office in the event of a vacancy.

As a result, the state's payroll controller has ordered paychecks for all 62 state senators to be withheld - $3,049 per senator for the most recent two-week period. The initial $190,000 - will be added to $1.5 million in expense voucher reimbursement being held back (so far).

The impasse was so bad last week that Paterson ordered the senate back in session Sunday - that would be July 5 - to try and work out something. The "special session" lasted a whopping three minutes before adjournment.

Ah, government in action ... I mean, "inaction" ...

That leads into the situation in California. Like many states, California is struggling financially, and lawmakers are still trying to finalize a budget for the upcoming fiscal year.

Because he feels the legislature should be dealing with the budget first and foremost, Gov. Arnold Schwarznegger apparently took three of the state's lawmakers to task for proposing legislation dealing with (a) creating a blueberry commission, (b) bottle labels for pomegranate juice, and (c) the definition of "honey."

Unfortunately, that's as good as it got. No "Three Stooges" parties gone awry. No mass chaos from Mel Brooks cowboy movies smashing their way into the cafeteria.

Regardless of what results, though, Schwarznegger should be concerned about the budget for 2009-10. After all, there's been no word on how much the state will be asked to contribute in the aftermath of the Michael Jackson festival ... yet.

Coping With "Close but ..."

A mantra I stress to my debate students constantly is that what they do should be fun. "It's not about the trophies," I claim. "Trophies aren't my priority. Debate is an elective, it's an after-school extracurricular. If you're not having fun, why are you doing it?"

I try very hard to live my life following this viewpoint. I know debate coaches who live vicariously through their students' successes, and believe - whether consciously or not - that the number of first-place finishes by their students defines who they are in their school, their debate community, and the debate world at large. I have no intention of being one of these types of individuals.

Now, don't get me wrong, watching students take home a trophy or two (or more) is pretty darn cool. I understand completely what these awards symbolize, and it's certainly nice, from a mentoring and administrative position, to see the fruits of their labors and my guidance result in these positive accolades. It's just that, in the grand scheme of things, the winning of trophies was never why I was hired, and is not a priority in my life. I don't care about wins and losses. I do, however, care about winning and losing fairly. And sometimes, what I end up seeing leaves me scratching my head in confusion.

I being this up because for the past week, I have been in Birmingham, Alabama, at the 2009 National Forensic League national speech and debate championship tournament. This is my second trip to what is touted as the premier national championship tournament for high school debaters; one of my Public Forum Debate teams qualified for the NFL nationals in Wichita two years ago. This year, I had a senior - now a high school graduate - advance from our district qualifier in Congressional Debate, which is just what the name implies - a student-operated version of what you can watch on CSPAN.

Amanda DeStefano is the first student in my school's history to qualify for the NFL national congress, which is a remarkable feat, given the history my program has earned since it was founded in 1988. It's her third national championship tourney; the past two years, she qualified for the National Catholic Forensic League nationals as well. At both NCFL nationals, Amanda advanced to the "Super Congress" final round. Suffice to say, she's pretty darn good at what she does, and has earned the respect from many a peer the past four years.

Amanda had her sites set on advancing to the NFL's final round, and possibly even placing in the top nine. Unfortunately, the powers that be - three judges and a parliamentarian - felt otherwise, and her high school debate career ended in the semifinal round. it was a crushing blow to Amanda, who felt she was much better than many of her fellow semifinal round competitors.

Based on a separate semifinal rounds I had judged on Wednesday (judges can't evaluate competitors from their home region), along with my observations of the championship round (which both Amanda and I watched on Thursday), I have no doubt in my mind that she was more than accurate with her stance. Many - not all, but many - of the speakers I watched in that final round had me scratching my head. One senator quoted South Park's Eric Cartman ("Respect my authority!") in his introduction. Another quipped the much-overused "If the opposite of pro is con, then the opposite of progress is Congress" line. A third opened her speech with a joke about Paris Hilton, the Vice President and the agriculture community.

All of these, plus many more instances of less than professional commentary, had me shaking my head, rolling my eyes, and wondering what the judges and parliamentarian had witnessed in their prelim rounds ... and had me wondering, if this is what advanced from the previous session, just how bad had the non-advancing student legislators been? It also had me a bit depressed - not because Amanda didn't win the whole thing, but because I really wonder about what the judges were thinking, or at the very least what they use as their criteria when scoring speeches and ranking students.

I have no argument about who won the tournament, and won't point fingers at the students or coaches who placed highly in the final round. That would be unfair to both the competitors and their coaches, and this is not an attack on their advancement. But it sure would have been nice to have Amanda as part of that final round, to see if, had perhaps one scorer result been different, she would have been on stage at the awards ceremony tonight.

If it sounds like I am jealous ... well, maybe I am. A bit. As much as I don't want the trophies to define me, there's a small part of me that wouldn't mind such recognition. Is this wrong? No. I'm wise enough to be able to look at the big picture and realize what I am providing to my students - the opportunity to compete, to travel, to grow emotionally and mentally, to be better prepared for college and the "real world" than I ever was when I was in their proverbial shoes - far outweighs receiving a trophy, a plaque, a gavel.

I don't want to live vicariously through my students. At times, though, making the separation can be difficult.

Palin v Letterman

Years ago, I used to watch David Letterman frequently, and by "frequently" I mean "every night." This was back in the days when Letterman was considered by the masses to be a comic genius, when his hair was still more Afro than tight shave, and before Jay Leno was Johnny Carson's replacement.

Much has changed in the past 15+ years. To be honest, I haven't watched a full Letterman show since the early 1990s, and can't even remember the last time I tuned in for even a portion of the show. Most of this is due more to changes in my life than in Letterman's approach to his audience.

Every once in a while, though, I scan the Internet to check out a Top 10 list. And every once in a while, a Letterman story makes its way to the point where I actually, you know, read it and ponder what the heck is happening.

Last week, such a story captured the front pages of those newspapers that are still around to publish in hard-copy format. In case you missed it - and since I don't watch Letterman, I am among those individuals - last Tuesday (June 9), Letterman made some tongue-in-check comments about the former GOP VP candidate and her daughter during their visit to NYC. One of the jokes hinted that the most difficult part of Sarah Palin's trip was "keeping Elliot Spitzer away from her daughter," a second dealt with the concept that Palin's daughter was "knocked up" by Yankees star Alex Rodriguez, and a third focused on Palin going to Bloomingdale's "to update her 'slutty flight attendant' look."

OK, like many of Letterman's jokes (and, to be honest, like most every other late-night host's jokes), this is not high-brow humor. And it would have passed as such, except ... the Palin family took exception and fired back, full guns a-blazing, accusing Letterman of making sexually-perverted rape jokes about 14-year-old Willow Palin.

Now, whether you believe Letterman's eventual apology or not - the apology where he claimed he was referencing 18-year-old Bristol Palin (whose announced pregnancy during the presidential campaign was a conversational topic), not her 14-year-old sister - the irony is that most of American (myself included) would have never had a clue about Letterman's comments, because most of American doesn't watch Letterman. According to David Bauder of the Internet site Town Hall, Letterman's ratings could reach their highest mark in years because of the attention given to what many perceive as a regular set of late-night television throwaway comments.

Additionally, some pundits believe Palin & Co. are jumping on the Letterman commentary not so much due to a sense of personal outrage, but to keep her name front and center in the minds of Americans for the upcoming 2012 presidential campaign.

It's easy to blame "the media" for so many things today. This is not new, or unique, and has included pointing fingers at movie scenes and music lyrics as the reason for an alleged decline in America's moral values. Palin v Letterman follows in this grand tradition, which has included (among other things) a lawsuit against rock band Judas Priest and deletion of a scene in the 1993 football movie The Program. (In 1990, JP was unsuccessfully sued over allegations backward masking of lyrics led to a suicide pact between two Nevada teens. In The Program, a scene depicting high school football players lying down in the middle of a busy road as a way of proving their manhood; the scene was later cut from the film after several children were injured trying to re-create the stunt.)

I'm not saying there aren't problems in the media, or that the media are always responsible. Nor am I saying that Palin's outrage isn't without some merit; at face value, it does take a "cheap shot" (or three) at her and her daughter(s). However, all too often, it seems, what happens in "the media" is blown so far out of proportion with reality, it magnifies the alleged "problem" or "incident" to absurd proportions. Seriously, what is the impact of Janet Jackson's "wardrobe malfunction" on Middle East relations or the alleged importance of Adam Lambert's sexual orientation on the world economy? The irony here is that because the Palins aren't talking about the "flight attendant' joke, the comment has barely (if at all) been mentioned in followup stories the past week.

Letterman apologized to the Palins late last week, but the apology was viewed as half-hearted at best by some individuals calling for the talk show host's head (or, at the very least, his job). Today, Letterman issued a more direct apology (shown below); no reaction yet from the Palin camp. Or from Spitzer, Rodriguez, or flight attendants, none of whom have commented on the fracas the past week, to the best of my knowledge.

Damn You, Casey Kasem!

Here's a fun, Facebook-y, quirky thing to get your mind working in the morning (and possibly cause serious debate at the dinner table later this evening): What are, in your own estimation, 20 songs you cannot live without - the ones you can listen to over and over, and never get tired of?

For music lovers (like me), this can be quite the challenge. So pardon me while I bang my head against the wall and burn through a few dozen legal pads of scribbled notes, because coming up with only 20 is probably the biggest challenge here. Heck, I could probably choose 20 alone by Tom Petty, or The Beatles, but where would get me? What purpose would that serve? And how many more rhetorical questions would I be remiss in not asking?

This actually took more than a few minutes to compile - more like, a few days? - and even longer to rationalize with myself that these songs were the right ones. I mean, I am sure there are a few compositions that are pretty pissed off at me now, and would love to put my head on a stick - if, of course, songs could actually do such a thing. Lucky for me, I suppose, this isn't possible.

So ... here we go!

1: "The Waiting," Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers: Choosing a TP song was definitely a challenge, but I went with this track from Hard Promises (over "Learning to Fly" and "You Wreck Me," very worthy runners-up). A catchy tune that speaks volumes about the quest for love, and finally finding the right one, with an all-too-true mantra about life in general: The waiting is the hardest part.

2: "The Star-Spangled Banner," Branford Marsalis & Bruce Hornsby: From Ken Burns' Baseball soundtrack, this sax-and-piano instrumental duet is the perfect mixture of melodic harmony. It doesn't strive to mock, make noise, or fail in an attempt to hit the high notes. It is hauntingly perfect, and for me to list this over Karen Newman's version speaks volumes.

3: "Life is Beautiful," Achinoam Nini (Noa): Yes, this is the theme song of Life Is Beautiful, Roberto Benigni's Oscar award-winning film. Noa also wrote the lyrics to the song, together with long-time collaborator Gil Dor. (What, you've never heard of her? You're probably not alone. It's difficult to find this Israeli singer's CDs here in the good ol' USA; in fact, I've had to special-order her collection from Israel).

4: "Voices Carry," 'Til Tuesday: I have always loved this song, in part because of the gritty guitar riff, in part because I wanted to be a white knight and kick Aimee Mann's loser boyfriend to the curb (if you've ever seen the video, you know what I'm talking about ... and if you haven't seen it, look below!).

5: "Ballroom Blitz," Sweet: The song that fellow Central Michigan University Chippewa alums Brian Sowa, Mark Wiecek and I danced to countlessly when at our favorite 1960s-themed nightspot, Wooly Bully's. I have no clue when or why this song became "our" song, but it is, and probably always will be.

6: "Call and Answer," Barenaked Ladies: Catchy and powerful lyrics, but not too wacky-crazy or over-the-top (like many BNL songs can be); mellowish, but really cool when factoring in the acoustic guitar.

7: "Imagine," John Lennon: The ultimate optimistic, utopian song. Can you picture a world without borders, without bias, without prejudice? Now, can we make it a reality?

8: "The River of Dreams," Billy Joel: A very biblical, spiritual song. It's about faith and searching for a greater meaning to life ... basically, it's a deeply philosophical song.

9: "Nutbush City Limits," Bob Seger & The Silver Bullet Band: You can take the Detroiter out of Detroit, but you can't take Detroit out of the Detroiter. What makes this April 1976 cover of the Tina Turner classic special to me is Seger's commentary to the Cobo Hall crowd at the 2:44 mark of the song (re: the Rolling Stone article). Still true today, Bob, still true!

10: "Atlantic City," Bruce Springsteen: A dark, depressing, bleak song about the Philly mob who had all the concrete contracts to build the hotels and casinos in Atlantic City, this song - and album - stuck a chord with me the moment it was released. Nebraska became my favorite Springsteen album, and remains so today.

11: "Soul Food To Go," Manhattan Transfer: The most powerful jazz volcalese group today, and possibly ever. The versatile quartet recorded their approach to Brazilian music with a definitive jazz slant, and the result was magic.

12: "The Fighting Chippewa (Central Michigan University Fight Song)": How could I live without a fight song? Seriously! Fire Up Chips! (And yes, I was at the game where this was videotaped!)

13: "Anniversary Song," Cowboy Junkies: The fact this was the bridal song for my brother Charles and his wife Elisabeth has no bearing on this choice; it does, however, mean they have excellent taste in music! As lead singer Margo Timmins told the audience at one of the shows Jeff Falcon and I attended, "This is our lone upbeat song." It's true. Cool sidebar: The Junkies are one of the few - if not the only - established bands that stays after concerts and meets with fans, often for several hours.

14: "Romeo and Juliet," Dire Straits: The most amazing song about Shakespearean lovers. Ever.

15: "I'll Never Fall In Love Again," Elvis Costello & Burt Bacharach: From the second Austin Powers movie. The film version is only 87 seconds long; the full version is much better. A song about the dangers and disappointments of falling in love, and the ultimate realization that it's better to try, try again.

16: "The Wanderer," U2 & Johnny Cash: A song about redemption - something the Man in Black was so very, very good at presenting in lyrical form. I stumbled across this one by accident when working at WBFH, and it immediately became one of my favorites.

17: "Temptation Waits," Garbage: To the best of my knowledge, this was never released as a single. A pity; I love its catchy beat and energy.

18: "Under Pressure," Queen & David Bowie: The first part of the song is about widespread poverty and society's lack of compassion for those in the trenches. The second asks why we can't love our fellow man. Combined, it's a powerful social statement about the world in which we live.

19: "Mari-Mac," Great Big Sea: How many songs do you know about forced marriages? If you need to know one, this is the one to know. I love the alliteration and tongue-twister lyrical structure of the chorus (Mari Mac's mother's making Mari Mac marry me / My mother's making me marry Mari Mac / Well I'm going to marry Mari for when Mari's taking care of me / We'll all be feeling merry when I marry Mari Mac), as well as the way the song speeds up as it progresses.

20: "Black Widow," Jefferson Starship: My friend Randy Docks turned me on to this one years ago, and it's been a staple ever since!

25 Random Things About "Moi"

As posted on my Facebook tonight ...

1: My life revolves around music. I remember religiously taping Casey Kasem's American Top 40 way back in the day (and this was before I discovered he was the voice of Shaggy in "Scooby-Doo"), and eventually I worked at the Bloomfield Hills Lahser/Andover radio station for 2 1/2 years in high school. That led to college radio, wedding DJ gigs, and having more than 1,600 CDs and vinyl albums to my name right now.

2: I'll take the open road over an airline flight in a heartbeat. I've traveled between Florida and Michigan 20 times the past 10 years (starting with the initial teaching job hunt in June/July of that year), and half have been via my 1997 RAV-4. My most recent of those trips was a 21-day, 4,000-mile drive that allowed me to sightsee and visit friends/family in South Carolina, Ohio, Michigan, Pennsylvania, Washington DC, North Carolina, South Carolina, and Georgia. Definitely worth it!

3: I have a difficult time tolerating narrow-minded people who think they are always right and that various opinions other than theirs are irrelevant. Especially when it's with a staunch "religious" or "political" (or both) agenda. Listen, having a belief system is good, and if you truly hold it to your heart and use it in a positive way, then that's cool by me. But don't try to push a dogmatic position down my throat. Give me some credit as a living, breathing adult capable of critically thinking on my own.

4: I lean slightly left of center politically, but don't mistake that for supporting every Democratic party cause that exists. All political parties and many politicians have proven very capable of forgetting who they represent and abusing our tax dollars in ways unimaginable.

5: I support Israel wholeheartedly, and while I'd like to believe "peace" can exist in the Middle East during my lifetime, I'm not about to throw money down on that in Las Vegas any time soon.

6: In the late 1970s, our family went on a vacation to Michigan's Upper Peninsula, and before we left, I bought what appeared to be an interesting book (about a secret post-WWII Nazi organization) for the drive north. That book ended up becoming one of my favorites of all time, and the author is one of my two favorites. The novel I bought at Perry's Drugs: The Odessa File by Frederick Forsyth. (My other favorite author is George Orwell ... and yes, that is quite a contrast in writing styles!)

7: I am a night owl, which probably explains why (a) I write so many of these things when I should be asleep and (b) why i am so friggin' tired in the morning when I go to work.

8: My mailbox fills with between 250-300 "spam" emails a day. Every day. About 95 percent are filtered into the spam folder automatically. I review the folder on occasion (since sometimes an email lands there that shouldn't), and am always amazed at both the NAMES these spammers come up with and the SUBJECT LINES that are types. For the life of me, I cannot fathom ever writing an email to anyone that announces in the subject line, "It's very possible to get a larger organ!" or "Be the hottest man around with a long shaft." I mean, how the hell do they know all this about me? Did I fill out some sort of survey when I first set up an email account years ago?

9: Years ago, I watched Plan 9 From Outer Space. Well, I watched about 10 minutes of it after renting it from Blockbuster. And it's as bad as everyone says. Maybe even worse. I think I had headaches for five days.

10: Most of the time I like my job, but I've said that about virtually every job or position i've ever held. As a teacher, though, I think I could get a lot more actual work done if one of the following two things were absent: either (1) political bureaucrats and their mandates (unfunded class size reduction; FCAT testing), or (2) students. Yeah, i could get more actual work done.

11: I'm holding out hope that President Obama is successful and makes positive changes in the US.

12: FARK.com is the funniest web site I go to daily. My brother Charles introduced it to me a few years ago, and instead of trying to explain it to you, I instead encourage you to check it out yourself. You won't look at news (or purported news) the same way again.

13: I'd rather have substance over style.

14: Almost every night, I go to sleep with the sounds of George Winston's December CD playing on my computer. It is guaranteed to knock me out within 45 minutes.

15: I think online dating sites suck eggs. All of them. Worthless. (Do I sound bitter?)

16: I wear my heart on my sleeve way too often, and that tends to intimidate some people.

17: Along with music, following sports is a passion of mine. I am a HUGE Detroit Tigers and Red Wings fan, and had a perfect professional football season this year when Bubbles the Lioness went 0-16.

18: I am the West Palm Beach area alumni coordinator for Central Michigan University. I am also the Vice President of Individual Events for the Palm Beach Catholic Forensic League. These two titles are not related.

19: My debate program has afforded me the opportunity to do much traveling within the continental US. In the past seven years, I have visited Washington DC, Boston, Raleigh-Durham, Atlanta, Houston, Milwaukee, Chicago, and a few other places for tournaments.

20: However, my passport has yet to be stamped. (When I lived in Detroit, in the pre-9/11 days, we didn't need a passport to cross the border into Canada.)

21: Debate students are continually devising new nicknames for me. The most recent one is "The Notorious PLG." Sounds like I'll have to put together a movie about being a white rapper from the Detroit suburbs who ... what do you mean it's been done already?

22: I have worked at a local weekly newspaper the past four years part-time (and full-time during the summers). I'm also a photographer on the side.

23: I am lactose-intolerant, yet still eat pizza.

24: Stupid people and idiot drivers need to be put out of their misery. That way, they are out of my misery, too.

25: Despite living in Florida for nearly 10 years, I still bleed Detroit.