The Jade Helm 15 conspiracy theories are based on the eponymous United States military training exercise, scheduled to take place in multiple US states from July 15 (that's today, in case you didn't check your calendar) to September 15, 2015. According to Wikipedia, the announcements of these training exercises have raised concerns that have been characterized by The New York Times as "travers[ing] the outer edges of political paranoia."
Jade Helm 15 is either a routine though unusually large Special Operations program or a government takeover designed to wipe out freethinkers, depending on who you believe. The military has not detailed what exactly the troops will be learning, but said in a statement that it “periodically conducts training exercises such as these to practice core special warfare tasks, which help protect the nation against foreign enemies.”
Conspiracy theorists see this as an attempt by President Barack Obama to invade Texas, Arizona and Utah (among other southwest states). It's gotten to the point that Texas Gov. Greg Abbott, responding to paranoid constituents, ordered the Texas Guard to monitor the federal military exercises - which made the fringe right happy, but led to criticisms, including one former GOP Texas lawmaker who said the Republican governor is “pandering to idiots.”
Heck, even Chuck Norris said the operation was “likely more than a military exercise.”
Not every Jade Helm 15 theory centered around the U.S. government’s mission to turn on its own citizens. Some have suggested Jade Helm is a way to ready troops for the chaos that will come after a massive asteroid hits the U.S. in September.
As you can clearly see from the attached graphic above, the conspiracy has now evolved into inclusion of transport of gold (smelted into medical bed pans) under the guise of Wal-Mart warehousing, to fund economic development in the post-invasion New World Order. I think this is totally ludicrous. If they wanted to transport gold in such a way, why don't they just smelt it into a 600-foot-long, 2-story-tall monster truck, armed with banks of machine guns and an army of goons on motorcycles, and drive it ... oh, wait ...
Never mind. Carry on ...
THE FINE FIVE:
(1) Merit pay for teachers - already a virtually impossible mess to try and figure out - has hit a new low in Florida. It's not enough that student high-stakes standardized test scores - which have been proven time ands time again to be unreliable as a means of gauging student improvement - are part of the process; now, if teachers in Florida want to earn a one-time bonus, they need to include their own SAT or ACT scores (and make sure those scores were in the 80th percentile or higher they year they took said tests). What? The cray cray has gotten deeper deeper in Tallahassee.
THE FINE FIVE:
(1) Merit pay for teachers - already a virtually impossible mess to try and figure out - has hit a new low in Florida. It's not enough that student high-stakes standardized test scores - which have been proven time ands time again to be unreliable as a means of gauging student improvement - are part of the process; now, if teachers in Florida want to earn a one-time bonus, they need to include their own SAT or ACT scores (and make sure those scores were in the 80th percentile or higher they year they took said tests). What? The cray cray has gotten deeper deeper in Tallahassee.
Let's see ... I got a 1010 on my SAT (back in 1981) - a 440 on the Verbal, 570 on the Math - and a 25 on the ACT (don't ask me how I remember all of this). No clue what they were on the percentile, but I'm pretty sure my SAT scores sucked eggs on the grand scale of things.
However, I did earn my National Board Certification in November 2008 (in Adolescence and Young Adults/English Language Arts). Now, that was both a meaningful and appropriate merit pay - it was in my subject area and extremely difficult. Not everyone who does the work passes; heck, it took me two attempts. At that time I got a $4,000 yearly bonus that ended only a few years years into the 10 years of certification.
Florida is such a stupid state.
(2) Last night, as part of the Major League Baseball All-Star Game, it was announced who had been voted in (by the general public at large) as each team's "Franchise Four" - the greatest players of all time. There's a few issues here or there (especially with older, more experienced teams whose historically great rosters are much deeper), but for the most part, the voters got it right. Here are the players whom I think got shafted:
Los Angeles Dodgers: Roy Campanella. He didn’t get his opportunity in the majors until he was 26 years old, in 1948 (following Jackie Robinson’s debut the year before), because of that darn "blacks not playing in MLB" thing, but he won three Most Valuable Player awards before his career ended when he was paralyzed in a car wreck in January 1958. He’s considered one of the best catchers ever. I have no clue who I'd bump out of their Franchise Four.
New York Mets: Dwight Gooden. I know, I know, the drugs thing. But when Doc was on his game, he was untouchable. In 1985, Gooden pitched one of the most statistically dominating single seasons in baseball history - 24 wins, 268 strikeouts, and a 1.53 ERA, earning the pitching Triple Crown. Goodbye, David Wright.
St. Louis Cardinals: Ozzie Smith. The Wizard of Oz was a wizard with the glove. Not much of a hitter (but did have that dramatic walk-off home run in Game 5 of the 1985 National League Championship Series). But oh, that defense. and this back flips. And that nickname. Like with the Dodgers, I'd move him in front of ... oh, hell, I don't know.
San Francisco Giants: Christy Mathewson. Look, I like Buster Posey. He's a pretty nice player and has done a lot with the current Giants team. But Mathewson won 374 games with a 2.12 ERA in his 17 years with the New York Giants.
Toronto Blue Jays: Dave Stieb. During his career, Stieb went 176-137. Only Jack Morris won more games in the 1980s. Stieb holds career records for Toronto pitchers in wins, games started, shutouts, strikeouts, and a variety of other categories. On September 2, 1990, he pitched the first (and, to date, only) no-hitter in Blue Jays history, defeating the Cleveland Indians 3-0. I'd move Stieb in front of Roy Halladay, if I could.
As for my Detroit Tigers ... the Franchise Four tag was given to (alphabetically) Miguel Cabrera, Ty Cobb, Hank Greenberg, and Al Kaline. It's really hard to knock the selections, as much as I'd love to. I'm trying to figure out how to fit Hal Newhouser, Alan Trammell, and Charlie Gehringer into the mix - and Ernie Harwell, too (even though he wasn't a player), and if someone can teach me new math and make it eight in four, I'd be eternally grateful.
(3) Speaking of the All-Star Game, The American League won (like it did last year), and a Detroit Tigers starting pitcher earned the win (like last year). I hope this means the Tigers will win the AL Central (like last year). I hope this doesn't mean Kansas City goes to the World Series (like last year) and that the previously-mentioned winning ASG pitcher leaves Detroit as a free agent (like last year).
(4) The All-Star break lasts through Friday, Hope I can make it that long ...
(4) The All-Star break lasts through Friday, Hope I can make it that long ...
(5) A total of 352 compact discs will be donated to the Palm Beach County Library system this week.
FOODERCIZE:
Weight: 246
Steps Taken: 2,366
Miles Walked: 1.07
CAMPAIGN 2016 NEWS OF THE DAY:
From The Des Moines Register: "Jeb Bush calls out Donald Trump for ‘rhetoric of divisiveness’" - Jeb channels his inner Shadow. Meanwhile, 57 percent of Republicans now view Trump favorably, according to The Washington Post.
STUPID NEWS OF THE DAY:
From Talking Points Memo: "Maine Attorney General Agrees That Gov. LePage Massively Botched Vetos" - You're doing it wrong. So wrong. So continuously wrong.
FLORIDA NEWS OF THE DAY:
From The Grist: "Enviros, Tea Partiers, and the Christian Coalition all agree: Florida needs more rooftop solar" - See? We all can get along together!
WEIRD NEWS OF THE DAY:
From CTV News Vancouver Island: "Bizarre mystery: B.C. family upset after cat repeatedly found shaved" - The family is pleading for the person responsible to stop shaving their cat. No, seriously, Stop. (For the record: I have an alibi.)
SPORTS NEWS OF THE DAY:
From ESPN: Central Michigan University's football team was one of the four finalists in this year's ESPYS for "Best Play of 2015" - and if you have no clue what I'm talking about, here's the final-play Hail Mary multiple lateral show of gridiron ecstasy which was listed as one of the top plays of the year (the other three finalists: Odell Beckham's behind-the-head catch; Malcolm Butler's interception to seal the deal for New England in the Super Bowl; and Lionel Messi's fake-out-the-defenders goal). Beckham's catch against the Dallas Cowboys won, but THE CHIPPEWAS ARE THE REAL WINNERS! #FireUpChips
VIDEO OF THE DAY:
The GoPro is strong with this one. Trust your feelings, you know it to be true.
MUSIC VIDEO OF THE DAY:
Godley & Creme, "Cry"
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