Desperately Seeking Jerry

The Muscular Dystrophy Association’s annual Jerry Lewis Labor Day Telethon went on last night. If you blinked, you probably missed it, because it no longer has the name "Jerry Lewis" attached to its existence. Or, for that matter, the connection to "Labor Day."

And at two paltry hours in length, calling it a "telethon" is a disservice, too.

What did air last night from 9-11 p.m. on ABC is called the "MDA Show of Strength Telethon." Let that roll around on your tongue for a moment.

Ummmmm ... show of strength?

TWO HOURS IS NOT A SHOW OF STRENGTH! TWO HOURS IS NOT A TELETHON!

When I was growing up in Bloomfield Hills, watching the Jerry Lewis Labor Day Telethon and its collection of weird, wacky guests and strange stunts (and incredibly emotional sales pitches) was essentially required television, probably because our parents grew up watching Jerry Lewis in the 1950s and early 1960s and passed along his history to us. We knew him more from the telethon that bore his name that he actively fronted and pitched for 20+ straight hours, and watching him in The Nutty Professor (the 1963 original, not the putrid 1996 Eddie Murphy remake). Hell, one year we had a "neighborhood campout" (pitching a tent in the backyard), and ended up watching part of the telethon from inside the house.Telethon > s'mores, sometimes.

Then you had the local Detroit cut-in broadcast, which brought it home to us in an era when there were seven - yes, only seven - TV stations you could watch locally. We didn't even reference the Muscular Dystrophy Association, in part because we couldn't pronounce "Muscular Dystrophy," and in part because it was THE JERRY LEWIS LABOR DAY TELETHON. (We might have even called it a marathon, not telethon ... I'm not sure.) Jerry Lewis WAS the telethon, to the degree that I cannot even follow AP format in this blog and refer to Jerry Lewis by "last name only" after the first reference way back several paragraphs ago.

Not anymore.

Mental Floss published a captivating history of the Jerry Lewis Labor Day Telethon in 2012. "Many of the biggest celebrities in show business have either hosted or appeared on Lewis's telethons over the years, including Frank Sinatra, Sammy Davis Jr., and three of the Beatles. (In John Lennon's appearance with wife Yoko Ono, he stated, "Jerry is one of our favorite comedians.") The ultra-reclusive Joe DiMaggio came on to answer the phones one year, and even a U.S. President - Ronald Reagan - made an appearance." But as for the all-time highlight?

[It] was unequivocally the reunion of Jerry Lewis with his former partner Dean Martin in 1976, staged by their mutual friend Frank Sinatra. It was an incredible moment in television history, being Martin and Lewis's first public appearance together in 20 years. The two tearfully hugged, kidded around, and cracked a few one-liners before Martin and Sinatra sang, after which Martin disappeared with a wave and a friendly "Ciao!" 

Lewis has always worn his heart on his sleeve regarding his deep affection for his former partner, while Martin was always "Mr. Macho" and rarely displayed any kind of emotion in public. But if you watch the video, you will see Martin quickly sneak in a brief kiss on Lewis's cheek as they hug. (I've always felt this quick kiss was very telling about Martin's real affinity for his erstwhile partner.)

I watched the "telethon" (word used extremely loosely) last night, or part of it. It was depressing, not because of the images of children struggling to survive this horrible disease, but because it carried none of the passion, commitment, or energy Jerry Lewis brought to the stage every year for more than 40 years. Jerry Lewis was fired in 2010, and the "telethon" has been chopped down each of the past three years. The tote board, which captured the continual donation amount (to much applause and fanfare) is gone, too.

Sigh.

I grew up in a world where watching the Jerry Lewis Labor Day Telethon was an obligation. It molded us, in the same way that Captain Kangaroo and Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood shaped our souls. When WBFH-FM held its annual March of Dimes Marathon in the spring, in a small way we, the students who marathoned, modeled what we did after the Jerry Lewis experience, because it was THE telethon to watch. There was a connection, albeit somewhat smaller in stature.

The MDA needs a better show of strength. What they're passing to viewers now is a farce in the truest definition of the word, a far cry from what should be expected.

Jerry Lewis deserves better.

The Fine Five - September 2, 2013
(1) Speaking of Labor Day, former Secretary of Labor Robert Reich - subject of the upcoming documentary Inequality for All - breaks down what it will take for workers to get a fair share in this economy - including big, profitable corporations like McDonald’s and Walmart to pony up and finally pay fair wage. In the video, he announces a petition campaign to pressure McDonald's and Walmart's CEOs to pay their workers a fair wage of $15/hour:



I had no clue Reich was that artistic with a sketch pad, either!

(2) To be blunt, the past month has been miserable for my father's side of the family. As I wrote on August 12, this was the 25th anniversary of my father's passing. Several days before this, my cousin Harriet Drissman died suddenly, just a few weeks before her 73rd birthday. It was quite unexpected. With the bulk of my family living in Detroit, I have been absent physically. I have my sources of information, obviously - family and friends who attended the funeral, the shiva (the mourning period), and are in more regular contact with them. I follow as best I can on Facebook as well.

Of the Drissman clan, I'm closest to my cousin Talya, who got married about a year ago to a wonderful man and who is expecting her first child in January. Her birthday is the the day after mine, we're both huge Detroit Red Wings fans, and while her side of the family and mine have different views politically, I have always found her to be open to different points of view and easy to discuss current events with.

Today, Talya posted her first blog in what seems like an eternity. It's her commentary on the past month - how she and her family have been dealing with the loss of her mother, how she is trying to pick up the pieces, and how she is trying to focus on the future while coming to grips with the changes that have rocketed through her world. I encourage you to read her post, and will repeat her final comment:

As for those you love, hug them. Call them. Text them. Tell them how you feel. You never ever know what tomorrow will bring.

(3) The post-Mylie Cyrus/Robin Thicke MTV Video Music Awards performance shock waves are still reverberating. Mind you, I'm still trying to figure out why MTV airs this show, since the terms "music' and "video" vaporized from the network eons ago.

Happened upon this commentary this morning which eloquently discusses modern society's shitty taste in music and encourages parents to "talk with their children" about why they listen to what they listen to:

Why do your children listen to knock-offs of Marvin Gaye? Why don’t they just listen to Marvin Gaye? Don’t you have Marvin Gaye records lying around, for crying out loud? Marvin Gaye sang about sex, but in a sexy way. Not in a rapey way.

As a Language Arts teacher, I fully appreciate the author's connection to proper English as well:

Thicke sings "You the hottest bitch in the place." Since this is a blog post about shitty taste in music and not about feminism, I will ignore the fact that this is an incredibly offensive lyric and zero in on the fact that "you the hottest bitch in the place" is just plain ol' incorrect English. Instead of worrying about your children watching scantily clad women being dry humped by men who could be their father, you should be more concerned about your children dropping verbs from their sentences.

One cannot talk smack about Cyrus, Thicke and their ... captivating? ... performance without bringing Cracked Magazine into the fold, discussing the subliminal symbols that were part of her performance. Who knew giant teddy bears meant so much when dealing with the inner psyche?

Finally, there was the extremely creative mind who tied clips from the Star Trek into the fray, with Kirk, Uhura, Chekov, Sulu, etc. dealing with the strange visual and audio presentation permeating the USS Enterprise's system.



Spock's reaction at 1:08 is PRICELESS!

(4) A really good typo is hard to find. This doesn't imply typos, in and of themselves, are difficult to discover; in fact, they exist in every media, from TV captions to newspaper stories to magazine headlines. When I was in my final semester at Central Michigan, and writing a column for CM Life, the school newspaper, my roommate Chris Grindrod and I would scan the paper religiously for errors, such as the Little Caesar's ad regarding "pepperoins" and "green peepers" for your pizza. We'd cut out the offending ad or story, highlight the error, and tape them to our dorm walls. (For the record, I have no clue what a pepperoin or green peeper taste like, since I never ordered them on my 'za.)

My students make plenty of spelling errors. Hell, it's a common element of texting or posting on Facebook or Twitter via cellphones.

But "really good" typos fall into the element of "How the HELL did that one happen?" Misspelled team names on sports uniforms. Errors on large billboards hanging on the backs of mass transit buses. And soda cups at Notre Dame.

Fig Thing Irish, indeed.

(5) Having said, that, about a year ago a relative recommended me to check out a book called The Great Typo Hunt: Two Friends Changing the World, One Correction at a Time by Jeff Deck and Benjamin D. Herson. What's the book about, you ask?

The signs of the times are missing apostrophes. 

The world needed a hero, but how would an editor with no off-switch answer the call? For Jeff Deck, the writing was literally on the wall: "NO TRESSPASSING." In that moment, his greater purpose became clear. Dark hordes of typos had descended upon civilization … and only he could wield the marker to defeat them. 

Recruiting his friend Benjamin and other valiant companions, he created the Typo Eradication Advancement League (TEAL). Armed with markers, chalk, and correction fluid, they circumnavigated America, righting the glaring errors displayed in grocery stores, museums, malls, restaurants, mini-golf courses, beaches, and even a national park. Jeff and Benjamin championed the cause of clear communication, blogging about their adventures transforming horor into horror, it’s into its, and coconunut into coconut. 

But at the Grand Canyon, they took one correction too far: fixing the bad grammar in a fake Native American watchtower. The government charged them with defacing federal property and summoned them to court - with a typo-ridden complaint that claimed that they had violated "criminal statues." Now the press turned these paragons of punctuation into "grammar vigilantes," airing errors about their errant errand. 

The radiant dream of TEAL would not fade, though. Beneath all those misspelled words and mislaid apostrophes, Jeff and Benjamin unearthed deeper dilemmas about education, race, history, and how we communicate. Ultimately their typo-hunting journey tells a larger story not just of proper punctuation but of the power of language and literacy - and the importance of always taking a second look.

It really is a good, and intriguing, read.

Weird News of the Day
From The New York Post: "Santa Claus called to jury duty" - Knowing who's been naught and nice just got real!

Stupid News of the Day
From The Jacksonville Daily News: "Robbery suspect flees, arrested on moped" - The suspect allegedly entered a gas station, demanded a customer’s money, and fled on a moped ... while wearing a ski mask over his helmet. DUDE, SKI MASK GOES UNDER THE HELMET!

Florida News of the Day
From The South Florida Sun-Sentinel: "Widow says psychic promised help in battle over late husband's frozen sperm" - Should have seen that one coming, don'tcha think?

Video of the Day
Weird Al Yankovic's send-up of the Jerry Lewis Labor Day Telethon, courtesy of the 1989 comedy UHF.